By David Walden, Mike Duncan, Charlie Farquharson

Tips to not sleep is if you happen to have ever been to a musical live performance and feature had justified reason to suppress a snicker. Walden pulls out all of the plugs and says, "laugh until until it hurts."

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Break it, get kicked out and we'd continue our discussion of historical perspective sitting on Elver Eeble's gravestone in St. Nancy's Cemetery. ) All that aside, I must agree with the professor, and this is now what I would like to elucidate to you, dear readers. And remember, I'm telling you this so you won't head out to the juice bar at intermission and make a complete ass of yourself with a major musical fox-pass (from the French). For most concerts that you will attend in your lifetime, there are approximately four-and-one-half major historical periods that you really need to know about.

170207 subject : Music appreciation, Concerts, Music--Terminology--Humor. Page iii How to Stay Awake During Anybody's Second Movement Being a Guide for the Average Music Lover to Concert Going David Walden Presents Page v Table of Contents Four-Wurd Charles Ewart Farquharson vii Question How Often ix Apologia Pro mia booka xi Preface Allow Me to xiii Introduction Music Is a Strange Bird xv Dedication Word of thanks xix Chapter 1 Poplars to Polkas 1 Chapter 2 Wilhemeena's Lament 7 Chapter 3 Booze and Bulbs 10 Chapter 4 Histerical Periods 18 Chapter 5 The Man with the Plates 37 Chapter 6 Conductors Who Needs'em?

It is to instruct, inform and encourage. So, here's to it! Page xiii Preface Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Anthon E. U. in Chezlee, Ont. , is where I was born and raised and where, thanks to the spirited tutelage of my erudite mentor, Maestro Colli Albani, I drank from the font of cultural wisdom and if I may add humbly, drained it dry. I shall always be eternally grateful to the incandescent Maestro for those long, long hours of inspirational learning lasting late, late, late into the murky night that have given rise to the large body of work that you see before you.

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